Protect Your Energy
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized something I wish I had learned when I was younger. Perhaps some people were taught this concept early on by their parents or other sources, but I surmise that the percentage is still low. What I wish I had learned from childhood is to take the physics theory that “everything in the universe is energy,” and apply it to my daily life. In other words, be conscious of the fact that every thought, focus of attention, interpersonal interaction, email, message, phone call, and money spent is energy exchanged, received, or simply given away. The vexing reality of this for me was when I recognized how much of my energy I had given away in the past to people and things for nothing. When I say “nothing,” what I am referring to is without consideration to what I was receiving in return. When you are investing your time, energy, and oftentimes money, like it or not, you are receiving something in return for that investment.
In my early twenties, I lived in Manhattan and was much more of an extrovert. Everyday brought an opportunity to spend time with friends going out to restaurants, bars, or a friend’s apartment. Nightclubs were also a big part of our lives, and an expensive pastime that would cost hundreds of dollars. In those days, spending a night out dressed in fancy clothes dancing all night to great music with friends seemed reasonable. Although, I did have lots of fun, it was excessive. So much of my energy was given away to people and experiences that weren’t bringing in a positive return and weren’t conducive to my growth potential. I found myself asking later in life, if it was really worth the amount of time and money I spent in exchange.
In another example, I looked at the time and attention I used to give so freely to family, friends, and acquaintances that were not much of a necessity in my life. People that maybe at different times when I needed their support, did not reciprocate in the same manner. I won’t even get into romantic relationships with significant others, who you knew from the start were not a good match, and would not give you the desired mental or emotional connection. As humans, sometimes we have the tendency to chase the people who don’t give us the affection and attention we are seeking. Yet, we continue to pursue them only to empty our own energy supply and feed theirs. Leaving us feeling unwanted and depleted.
When you are giving your attention to something or someone, you are buying an experience. So why are we not taught to be more mindful of what we are purchasing? I will admit that in my younger days, my priority in life was to have as many adventures as possible, in order to learn as much about the world and people as possible. For the most part, I have fulfilled that objective. Nonetheless, I recognize that there were many instances where my time, money, and focus were wastefully spent. So much of my internal struggles and suffering were due to the fact that I was not selective about the people and experiences I allowed into my life, and being a highly sensitive person made it more distressing. As a highly sensitive person, I am now also highly selective.
Are you mindful of the investments you are making? How much time and energy does society spend on social media voyeuristically admiring or judging the life of others? Watching videos and TV shows that add no value to improving one’s life or teaching something that might actually be useful in furthering us along our human path. Research suggests that those who spend hours on social media passively taking in content that does not elevate them to higher levels, degrades their mental and emotional wellbeing.
I have learned valuable information on those platforms by following accounts that teach interesting subjects. However, what I am referring to are political and pop culture narratives of the moment, such as celebrity gossip, virtue signaling, twitter wars, or simply comparing ourselves to influencers and other people. I understand that it’s a nice mental break at times, but I have seen the amount of energy people spend arguing online about topics they are fed through the media. The purpose of this being to distract you, to lower your mental and emotional vibration, and to drain you like an energy vampire so that you don’t have anything left for the pursuit of your own goals and aspirations.
These days, I am purposeful with where I direct my energy. I don’t need many friends around with whom to constantly engage. Over the years I have become more of an introvert, so this has occurred naturally. I am also more considerate of the content I choose to consume online (one of the best decisions I made was to cancel Netflix and delete Facebook). I have found a balance to calculate what a situation or a person might bring into my life, and if that is something I would want. I learned that I can be kind from a distance. If I don’t want to associate with someone, it does not mean that I have animosity toward them. It’s that I don’t see the value they can provide to my life at that particular time.
I am more mindful of my thoughts, my relationships, and certainly my money. My time is valuable, yes, but my energy is even more valuable. If someone is to receive my attention, kindness, and all that I have to offer, they best be worth it and deserve what I will be sharing. Of course, I believe it is good to be polite, but keeping your distance is certainly underrated. You are not a snob or arrogant just because you don’t want to interact, you are simply protecting your energy and choosing your experiences. High standards protect you from having low quality experiences, and let’s be honest, not everyone deserves to have access to your spirit.
